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How well do you know your parts?

Writer: Alice RankerAlice Ranker

Hey there, I'm going to let you in on another one of my therapy sessions. Jodi (my therapist) introduced me to IFS a while ago. IFS, or Internal Family Systems, is a psychotherapy model that views the mind as made up of multiple sub-personalities, or "parts"., IFS was developed by psychologist Richard Schwartz in the 1980s. Here's a simplified explanation of IFS.

Think of your mind like a big family living inside you. In this family, there are different “parts” of you—just like in a real family, where everyone has their own personality and role.

For example, you might have:

  • A worried part that gets anxious before a big test.

  • A fun part that loves to joke around with friends.

  • A perfectionist part that wants everything to be just right.

  • A hurt part that remembers times when you felt sad or left out.

All these parts have good intentions, even if they don’t always feel helpful. Sometimes, the worried part takes over and makes you super nervous, or the perfectionist part makes you afraid to try new things.

But here’s the cool part—inside you, there’s also a Self. Your Self is like a wise and kind leader who can listen to all your parts and help them work together. When your Self is in charge, you feel calm, confident, and in control.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is all about understanding these different parts, talking to them, and helping them feel safe so they don’t have to take over. It’s like being the leader of your own inner team!

I created the handouts below to give you a deeper understanding. You can also use them to evaluate yourself. The first handout is an explanation of the 8C's associated with IFS. The middle handout you can use to evaluate and measure how you feel and where to explore deeper. And the final handout gives you instructions on how to dig deeper.



Let me share an area that I have explored. For a long time I struggled with control. I needed to be in charge and control all the things. I saw this as a negative part of my personality. Once becoming aware of it I started working on not being a control freak. But it wasn't until learning about IFS that I was able to appreciate that part as a form of protection. I no longer saw it as a negative or as something that was wrong with me. I got curious. And this created new patterns for me. Now, when I notice an area that makes me uncomfortable, I get curious. I explore deeper. Ultimately, there are NO BAD PARTS. (If you look that up you will find the book -No Bad Parts, written by Dr Schwartz.

I hope you find this helpful like I did, and still do. Get curious. Get clarity on what's really happening.

I would love to hear about your experience. Please share in the comments below or you can message me directly.

Have a beautiful week.

Much love,











 
 
 

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© 2023 by Alice Ranker

couples coaching - personal growth - life coaching - therapy - self help

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