I don't need to elaborate about why you need to drink your water. You know your body is made up mostly of water and without a sufficient amount lots of problems can occur such as, constipation, headaches, fatigue, brain fog and so on. Taking vitamins also seems unnecessary to explain because for many of us our daily food intake does not supply us with all the nutrients we need to have optimal health. That leaves us with...Mind your business.
I'm not sure why this one feels like we need to talk about it some more. I feel like this is something we have heard all of our lives. Yet, we still feel the need to insert ourselves into other peoples affairs.
If they didn't ask you what you thought, they don't want to know. If you feel so inclined to comment or give your advice or opinion ask permission. And if they receive your advice offer it not as a should but as a if it were me...And if they don't take your advice, so be it. All too often I hear or see how people insert their views, opinions, or advice when no one asked for it but only as a form of judgment and superiority. Because you think you know better, maybe you do. However, when we continue to step in (and yes this includes the lives of our children, especially late teen and adult children) we rob them of opportunities to learn and grow on their own. Most of life's hard lessons have to be learned on a personal level. It's how we grow and it creates resilience. If someone is in trouble or making a truly harmful decision and you just need to intervene, once again, ask permission.
I am a recovering rescuer. That's one of the areas that I had to work through in therapy. And it's hard. Establishing boundaries in areas where I might normally feel the need to assert myself and fix what's wrong is hard work. But, the more I do it the more natural and quickly it comes. It can create peace by not needing to fix all of the worlds problems today.
The next time you are approached with a problem that isn't yours remember:
*you don't need to fix it
*it's not yours to fix
*if you are asked, honor your boundary
*if you aren't ask, don't offer
*if you absolutely must, ask permission
*then and only then use phrases such as, if it were me, perhaps you could try, etc never should on people
It's okay to have a difference in opinion. It's not okay to hurt people, be verbally abusive or dehumanize other people. Practice kindness and humility. Go out of your way to say kind things and practice random kind acts. It will change your life for the better.
Much love,
Alice
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